Like you, perhaps, I reached a point where I had to admit—I felt lost.

On paper, I was living my dream: working across Southeast Asia for an organisation fighting human trafficking. Just three years earlier, a deep calling had inspired me to leave my corporate job and move to Cambodia, volunteering full-time for a cause that moved my heart. I believed I’d found my life’s purpose.

But by 29, though I was leading regional projects, I was barely holding it together. I was burnt out and disconnected. Morning coffee kept me going; an evening drink slowed me down. The constant stress was taking a toll—tightness in my throat, hair loss, emotional overreactions. Even my faith in the development sector was beginning to waver. Without dismantling systemic power structures, we weren’t truly solving anything. What was the point?

TURNING INWARD

I found myself searching for deeper answers—about life, suffering, purpose, and my place amongst it all.

Over the next seven years, I immersed myself in spiritual studies meditating daily, spending periods in silence, and completing a two-year yoga certification. Understanding life as a journey of the soul felt like coming home. There was relief and freedom knowing that my purpose and sense of self existed far beyond job titles or material achievements.

I lived and studied in a rural temple community in southern India, and began experiencing expansive states of bliss. Later I worked with plant medicines and Indigenous wisdom holders. Learning from diverse cultures began to unravel my Western conditioning.

But eventually, the shine of spiritual identity began to fade.

I came face-to-face with its shadow - the ways in which the human condition, including impacts of trauma, can be belittled and bypassed in relentless pursuit of spiritual goals. I was humbled to the truth that like everything else, spirituality cannot be placed on a pedestal.

Despite all the spiritual awakening, my chronic fatigue persisted until I finally recognised a disconnection from my childhood. With support, I moved into the depths of emotional and physical pain, gradually learning how to meet and heal them. I studied the effects of trauma and the body, attachment theory, and qualified as a coach in Pschyo-sexual somatic therapy. I finally understood what is meant by embodied spirituality.

LOVE AS A TEACHER

This all unfolded alongside a beautiful yet demanding relationship that brought up the best—and the most challenging—parts of me. Despite the desire to run, we chose to stay, treating our fears as opportunities for transformation. Over time, with the support of contemporary tantra, and Intimacy from the Inside Out, our intimacy blossomed beyond anything I had imagined. After a lifetime of swearing I’d never get married, I proposed in 2022. To this day, I still pinch myself at the love and pleasure that continues to unfold through our relationship.

I’ve explored many modalities over the years, but Internal Family Systems and Shamanic practice brought me the most enduring and transformative shifts. I found that they offered a bridge between the practical challenges of being human and the expansive layers of our existence. I committed to training in both and continue to deepen my knowledge with these paths.

WHERE I STAND NOW

Today, I live with a deep inner trust that is grounded and free, peaceful and vibrant, compassionate and boundaried. I honour my gifts, turn towards my growth edges, and find joy in exploring the many dimensions of this human experience.

Having visited my depths, I have a much greater sense of who I am, which helps me navigate life with presence, authenticity, and acceptance.

After years of trying to live and serve through external action alone, I now see inner work as the gateway to creating the more beautiful world we know in our hearts to be possible at this time of global uncertainty and rapid change.